SOME wedding vendors and brides to be in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) want men to show more interest in the planning of weddings.

Some of the vendors, who spoke with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja on Friday, said women were mostly left to make detailed decisions for the wedding day as the men only feel financially obligated.

They noted that women, most times pick all the details and go through the entire planning itinerary by themselves without much input from the men.

According to them, some men are uninterested in the ceremonies and just want to take their wives home, leaving the stress of planning to women.

The respondents were of the view that if the men were more involved in the planning process, it would reduce the stress on the women.

According to Chioma Efoghe, a wedding planner, weddings today entails much more than spiritual pronouncements and traditional obligations, there are several details involved.

“These details are hectic because they involve a lot of running around even when the couple hires a wedding planner.

“It is hard to find men who will go with the women to the caterers, to pick the dress, to talk with the hall decorators or even the music selection,” Efoghe said.

Similarly, Lydia Hanson, a wedding planner, told NAN that she had been in the business for more than ten years, and could count the number of men who have shown interest in the process.

“They just call the women to ask them how much money is needed and that is all. Most men don’t even know the colour of the day until when their suits are delivered to them.

“I think it is because they see the wedding as the women and family day so they steer clear from the details as much as possible. We need them to be more involved,” Hanson said.

Meanwhile, some brides to be also shared the same views.

According to them, their husbands-to-be simply wait for calls to know what they have to contribute financially, family meetings and traditional requirements.

Joy Osarobo said that since she began her wedding preparations in June, she had been attending wedding expos, fairs and meet-ups to get discounts all by herself.

“I mentioned it to my fiancé once or twice that we needed to be here (at a wedding fair) but he said he does not want to be involved in women `wahala’.

“I don’t blame him much because there are only about three men around and they are not even patient enough to go through vendor to vendor,” Osarobo said.

Also, Angela Nwosu, whose wedding is in December, said that her fiancé regards the picking of vendors, menu and catering selection as unnecessary wedding stress.

“He told me that left to him, we prefers something simple with family and friends, as he feels all the extra planning are quite unnecessary.

“Men usually don’t understand that all the little details matter in a wedding and things could go wrong at any time. Women do not fuss over nothing,” Nwosu said.

However, some men who spoke to NAN defended the trend, saying that weddings and all its ceremonies were usually the imaginations of the women and family members.

Adewunmi Johnson, an Engineer, said that men hardly dreamt of their wedding days unlike women who fantasise over it from birth.

“You will hardly find a man who has a ‘dream wedding’ in his head. He just wants a wife but women want the husband and the ceremony the way it is in their dreams.

“We don’t want to be disturbed, so we give them the chance to pick what they want and how they want it,” Johnson said.

Meanwhile, Chuba Ejike, a brand consultant told NAN that he almost regretted being part of the wedding planning process.

According to him, women already have an idea on how they want the wedding to be and they are overtly emotional over the day.

“They know what they want and they just need you to agree with them. Your input on how the day should go is secondary. I wish I knew this earlier, I would not have been too involved.

“We also have to know that men have their roles too and it will be okay if everybody sticks to their roles.

“Men contribute a bulk of the finances, do most of the invitations, provide the traditional requirements, the rings and other difficult things,” Ejike said.

He, however, advised men to be available when needed by the women and be ready to agree with the woman’s idea of a dream wedding, while taking care of some work in the process. (NAN)

– Aug. 10, 2018 @ 15:35 GMT |