Homosexuals and lesbians insist that the law prohibiting same sex marriage in Nigeria is a waste of time because most of them addicted to same sex love will continue to practice it without making noise
| By Vincent Nzemeke | Sep. 16, 2013 @ 01:00 GMT
NOTHING would ever suggest that Emeka and Stephen (not real names) were more than ordinary friends. They had been close friends right from their childhood days. They shared everything and went everywhere together. But hell was let loose in their Ikoyi home last week, when it was discovered that the duo who recently completed a degree programme abroad were sexually attracted to each other. The revelation of their gay sexuality, which is threatening to tear their families apart, came as a surprise to their parents whose religion condemns such.
In a similar tale, Judith and Shirley, both students of a Nigerian university would pass as sisters rather than friends. Theirs is a friendship made in heaven. They went everywhere and shared everything including clothes, shoes, jewelries and mobile phones. In the church, they were the epitome of sisterly love. In class, they were the two-fold cord that could never be broken. But their impeccable profile was dented sometime last year when another resident of the hostel where they lived caught them in the bathroom locked in each other’s arms, making love. Shirley and Judith eventually abandoned their studies and went into hiding when news went round that they were lesbians and not just close friends.
Like Emeka and Stephen, Shirley and Judith, there is a growing appeal for same sex relationships among Nigerian youths. There are many gay couples posing as mere friends in various parts of the country. They can’t disclose their sexuality mainly because the society frowns at such things.
As the fad continues to grow, many have wondered why a right thinking person would go against nature and desire a same sex relationship. Some gay couples who spoke strictly on condition of anonymity opined that the appeal stems from various reasons depending on the sexual experience of the individual.
A lesbian based in Port Harcourt attributed the appeal of a girl-to-girl relationship on the deceptive nature of men. She said because men have a propensity to “use and dump girls”, lesbianism offers succour for such disappointments. “Don’t blame a girl if she decides to have a girl friend instead of a boy friend. Men are wicked; they will promise you heaven-on- earth only to use and dump you at the end of the day. Many of us became lesbians because of the bad experiences we had with men”.
For some others, same sex relationship started as an interesting experiment which later became an addiction. A middle-aged man, who simply gave his name as Richie, recalls how he got involved in same sex relationship in secondary school after some of his classmates talked about their experiences. “I was very curious to find out how touching and kissing another guy feels. In the hostel some people talked about what they did it in the bathroom with other boys and it sounded very interesting. I felt very disgusted the first time I did it. I don’t like to think of it, but I enjoy it every time I do it now.”
Efemena Ahkabue, a student, is another person whose life as a lesbian started like the proverbial drop of water that soon became a mighty ocean. Unlike others who were initiated by their friends, it was her cousin who mentored her into it. She assured her that being a lesbian protected her from the risk of unwanted pregnancy.
“Efe, my cousin, was in a boarding school and we were very close. Each time we were on holidays, she would come to our place in Lagos or I go to their place in Warri. She would tell me all the things they use to do in their hostel and I was very eager to experiment. One day, we were in the bathroom and we started playing with each other’s body and that was how I got into it although it is embarrassing to admit that I am into such things. It is an addiction I have tried but cannot break,” she said.
A little over a year ago, the Nigerian Senate passed a bill seeking to ban same sex relationship. Although it has not become a law, the bill has generated so much controversy among Nigerians at home and abroad. While many consider it a welcome development, the same sex couples who are obviously at the short end of the stick, feel it is an infringement of their fundamental human rights. One of them said the bill is a waste of time because there are gay couples in Nigeria who would not disclose their sexuality because the society treats them as outcasts.
He said: “The action of the Senate is hypocritical and a waste of precious time. With or without this bill, people like me who fancy same sex relationship can’t come out to say it because the society frowns at it. What they have done will not only send more gay people into hiding, it will make them feel bad for daring to be different. As humans, we are entitled to freedom of association, it is my decision to choose who I relate with sexually, so the decision of the Senate is an infringement on our rights”.
Another lesbian said, there is no moral justification in banning gay marriages. She said people should be allowed to make their own choices and live with the consequences.
“The question of whether it is right or wrong should not come up at all because as they say, what is food for one man is poison for another. People should be allowed to make their choices based on personal conviction and live with the consequences”.