Opinion
By Ugoji Egbujoย
GREETINGS, my President. My Bible says I must pray for you and wish you well. In this country, people go to church and mosques but donโt practice what they are taught. No wonder our leaders are always ill. How can they be well when people who are supposed to appreciate and bless them devote daily hours to cursing them? They donโt know that only God gives power and leaders are representatives of God on earth. They think power comes just by rigging elections.ย
Wherever you are, my president, It shall be well with you. Haters call you a globetrotter. I call you an investment hunter. It shall be well with you in France, South Africa, and London. Whenever you board our new jet, you shall find peace in the skies. Itโs because you love us that you are travelling up and down. If you didnโt love us, you could have stayed in France like Paul Biya of Cameroon. But see how you are suffering. Nigerians donโt appreciate their leaders
The naira is at 1750 to a dollar. Your economic blueprint had said you would beef up the naira from N600 to N300. Man proposes, and God disposes. But I still think you deserve accolades. I think 1750 is an outstanding achievement. As Okupe said, without you coming when you came and instituting divine reforms, the naira could have been 15,000 to a dollar by now. Okupe discovered this fact. The National Bureau of Statistics should be nudged to invent stats to support this noble idea. But as your other media aides hinted, the merciless naira devaluation was a strategy to boost exports. Anybody who doesnโt buy that should take the other explanation, which is that itโs better to allow the nairaโs value to float and be determined by market forces. Asiwaju, we will counter them robustly no matter how they choose to look at it. You have done very well.
Most poor people in this country think governance is easy. But itโs not you that made them poor in the first place. Their poverty looks factory-fitted. They think you are living a lavish life in foreign cities. They are mistaken. Onanuga has told them that the cost of living in Nigeria is the cheapest in Africa. But they no longer listen to Onanuga because he often talks unnecessary nonsense. However, these people and their mischievous sponsors will come to their senses someday. Their forefathers made the same mistakes. Didnโt they say that rogues ran the first and second republics, yet they now dream of those days?
If it were not for your reforms, Your Excellency, this country would have imploded. Your reforms have kept a bag of rice at an affordable N110,000. Itโs obvious rice would have disappeared from the market. A bag of rice would have gone up to N1,000,000. The problem with our people, especially people like Davido, is that they have never been locked up. They are enjoying freedom courtesy of your magnanimity, and they are blabbing. Thatโs a boy whose father runs a two-billion-dollar power plant which you can decommission just like that. But you heard him sabotaging your effort to find foreign investors. Be consoled by the support of people like that lady at the TVC who took the spoilt brat to the cleaners. Even if a yam tuber were 10,000, why would they scream โEbin pawaโ to scare away foreign investors?
The hunger thing is contrived. Shameless sensationalism. They are very unpatriotic and disgruntled people. If people canโt buy rice, canโt they eat potatoes, cocoyam, or guguru? Canโt they eat agbado and cassava, for Godโs sake? Must everybody eat fish-filled okro soup and wash it down with 40-year-old whiskey like the man in FCT? Where does that happen? Are all fingers equal? Donโt they know he is an honourable who he is? Some of them have even started badmouthing God. Imagine asking God what they have done to Him to deserve the kind of our leaders. Is that not blasphemy right there? These people donโt know God. I suspect that God has cursed them, and they are now sitting here like Jonah and causing spiritual turbulence for this country.
Asiwaju, I thank God for your sagacity and astuteness. You built the city of Lagos from a jungle. It would help if you focused on collecting taxes. It worked in Lagos. Donโt listen to them. Data show that the unemployment rate has crashed, and things are improving. E jor sir, donโt mind all these people who are complaining about the light and price of beans. You must maintain zero tolerance for subsidies. Why canโt they clap for you to celebrate the Port Harcourt refinery that is now producing like itโs brand new? They are saying 1.5 billion dollars was wasted on a small ancient refinery. They want you to say it wasnโt you who awarded the contract. God, what did we do to be in the same country with these people? Why canโt they ever open their mouths and praise their president?
Nuhu Ribadu has told them. Your name is Tinubu. The Asiwaju of the universe. You conquered Obasanjo and his 3rd marine political commando in 2003. You have conquered bandits. You have conquered Boko haram. You have conquered the prime minister of Biafra. Go on song, Baba mi. Why are these political heathens still raging?
Haters say your tribalism is on steroids. Where is the tribalism? They donโt know itโs merit. Muslim Muslim ticket was merit. Even Daniel Bwala now knows that. The Yoruba domination of the top economic and security positions is merited. The Yoruba are exceptional people, and it is their turn. Do you have to spell that out to them? There is nothing you are doing that Buhari didnโt try. Therefore, any negative parapo propaganda fashioned against you and your respectable family from the north, east or south south, shall not prosper, Insha Allah.
Baba, naysayers are issuing empty 2027 threats. Thank God Yahaya Bello will soon be free to deliver Kogi again. Baba, you are a master strategist. If itโs Obi and Atiku, no shaking. You have never failed. You will not fail. Whether they like it or itโs four more years. They can gather to try themselves in 2027. They shall be scattered. They donโt know you. E fokan bale. And unlike confused Buhari, from whom you inherited a mess, you will pick your successor when you are done. All these cunning men singing On Your Mandate like Warri parrots, nothing for them. You will look for a proper Ododo.
My able and performing president, I greet you today. God has put you there to enjoy on our behalf. I thank God for that. Tuale for the baba. I like you, Baba. Even if you donโt bring anything from yonder for me, I know you went to bring investors to give us executive green jobs. I like you. Please take more pictures of you in those beautiful cities and send them; let me use them to bend the necks of haters at home. My president, I had to digress a bit to pinch them. These haters are a diabolical bunch.
My president, let me surprise you. The boys are now singing, โT-Gain for third termโ. What God cannot does not exist. We are ready to mobilise. The third term is to complete the reforms you have started. With enough money, the Constitution can be amended. Lee Kuan Yew was prime minister for 31 years. Beni, my president. That was how the miracle of Singapore was achieved. So, as 2027 approaches, you must find more political positions to appease the North. You can make the noisest amongst them ambassadors and send them away. I canโt teach you this work. You can retrieve the Chief of Naval Staff position from the ungrateful Southeast and give it to the North. You can appoint that cantankerous Kwankwaso as oil minister to extinguish his Kwankwasiyya nuisance. Then, since FG will collect all taxes once the new bill passes, you can weaponise the FIRS machinery to instil the fear of God in uncooperative people. Once the police and Supreme Court are loyal, all is well. Protesters now know that they are coup plotters. So they will behave.
T-Gain for life . Baba, โno gree for anybodyโ.
2nd December, 2024.
C.E.
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