Opinion
BY Emmanuel Onwubiko
Associate Professor Eleonora Papaleontiou-Louca of the Psychology department of the European University Cyprus and a special scientist at the University of Cyprus wrote a scholarly work entitled: “The (Neglected) role of the father in Children’s mental health.”
Her work aforementioned perfectly captured the lives and times of one of the most significant musician of all times from the United States of America by name Tupac Amaru Shakur, also known by his stage names 2Pac and Makavelli. He was one of the most famous American rappers and actors. Born on June 16th 1971 at East Harlem, New York city but unfortunately got assassinated on September 13th 1996. Tupac Amaru Shakur didn’t have a lot of academic study but his street’s credibility is profound. He read voracious and I think sincerely that he was an ORIGINAL THINKER because his songs are all loaded with significant meanings that are supported practically by deeply philosophically acceptable thoughts. As a Philosopher myself, I can say without equivocation that Tupac Amaru Shakur was one of the greatest performance PHILOSOPHERS and POETS. My reflection today is to confirm that base on many theses, Tupac Amaru Shakur’s dear Mama is an original philosophy.
Below are the excerpts from the work on neglected role of the father as encapsulated in the research by Professor Eleonora Papaleontiou-Louca:
Introduction: Modern research in developmental psychology has given more attention to the mother’s role in children’s life and development compared with fathers. Previous literature has presented the father as a secondary figure in terms of emotional expression towards the children and their daily care; further, their roles ‘appear’ after the first three years of their children’s lives (Cabrera, Tamis-LeMonda, Bradley, Hofferth, & Lamb, 2000). These roles have been considered to be an almost exclusive privilege and duty of the mother. Fathers, in contrast, seem to function more like a figure, a concept, or sometimes as the ‘punisher’ who steps in to restore order among family members. Their primary contribution was relegated to financing the family, rather than providing a substantial element of care and/or guidance. In a general sense, fathers do not participate actively in their children’s daily activities and concerns. With respect to previous classical roles of fathers, some well-known psychologists and psychiatrists (e.g. Bowlby, 1988) value the indirect, supportive role of fathers. It is one thought to enable and empower mothers, making them feel well so they can contribute more to their families. This stereotypical picture, for several years, overlooked fathers’ significant contribution and involvement in their children’s upbringing, one that entails the development of youngster’s mental health. However, new research (e.g. Cabrera et al., 2000; Hoffman, 2011; Lamb, Pleck, Charnov, & Levine, 2017) has started valuing and signifying the important presence of fathers in the family structure. Therefore, the aim of the current literature review is to explore and shed light on the roles of fathers in their children psychoemotional development.
Motherhood and fatherhood roles
In her thinking which is perfectly correct, there are several factors that contribute to the roles of mothers and fathers when it comes to nurturing their children (Cabrera et al., 2000; Lamb et al., 2017). Fathers are introduced into the fatherhood roles with less psychological, social, or emotional preparation compared to that of mothers. Females start thinking about marriage, having children, and childbearing at a younger age compared to their male counterparts (Doucet, 2007). Mothers also go through many bio-psychosocial changes
On the benefits from the paternal involvement, the scholarly writer aforementioned stated as follows: “Although there is no specific form of a father’s involvement in a child’s life that has been shown to be optimal, it generally seems that active and regular involvement is associated with a number of positive effects. The active participation of fathers in the lives of their children can protect the youngster(s) from adjustment difficulties and behavioural problems (Flouri and Buchanan, 2002a, Flouri and Buchanan, 2002b). A study among schoolchildren found that those children who had a better. The professor of psychology also espoused her learned views on what happens when the father is absent.
Her views: The results of bad and immature behaviour in the practice of paternal duties and the excessive use of paternal authority have almost the same result as when the father is absent. Children raised in such settings are expected to express the rebellion, delinquency, and/or violent responses or, on the other hand, total submission. Both are devastating for the development of their personality (Soulandrou, 2017). When the father is absent, their model place is left empty…
Our legendary musician Tupac Amaru Shakur used his song called DEAR MAMA to teach us the fathers how to be good fathers and also it is a song of commendations for the struggling single mothers all around the World who are making heroic efforts to raise their kids as responsible adults even in the absent of their dads. Tupac Amaru Shakur’s dear Mama truly resonates around the theme of responsible fatherhood and as a father myself, I have taken great time to listen to his lyrics and I must say that he showed his deeply philosophically and profoundly poetic qualities in that song which I will share below.
Tupac Amaru Shakur sang thus: “You are appreciated
When I was young, me and my mama had beef
17 years old, kicked out on the streets
Though back at the time I never thought I’d see her face
Ain’t a woman alive that could take my mama’s place
Suspended from school, and scared to go home, I was a fool
With the big boys breakin’ all the rules
I shed tears with my baby sister, over the years
We was poorer than the other little kids
And even though we had different daddies, the same drama
When things went wrong we’d blame Mama
I reminisce on the stress I caused, it was hell
Huggin’ on my mama from a jail cell
And who’d think in elementary, hey
I’d see the penitentiary one day?
And runnin’ from the police, that’s right
Mama catch me, put a whoopin’ to my backside
And even as a crack fiend, Mama
You always was a black queen, Mama
I finally understand
For a woman it ain’t easy tryin’ to raise a man
You always was committed
A poor single mother on welfare, tell me how you did it
There’s no way I can pay you back
But the plan is to show you that I understand
You are appreciated
Lady, don’t you know we love you? (Dear Mama)
Sweet lady, place no one above you (you are appreciated)
Sweet lady, don’t you know we love you?
Now, ain’t nobody tell us it was fair
No love from my daddy, ’cause the coward wasn’t there
He passed away and I didn’t cry, ’cause my anger
Wouldn’t let me feel for a stranger
They say I’m wrong and I’m heartless, but all along
I was lookin’ for a father, he was gone
I hung around with the thugs
And even though they sold drugs
They showed a young brother love
I moved out and started really hangin’
I needed money of my own, so I started slangin’
I ain’t guilty, ’cause even though I sell rocks
It feels good puttin’ money in your mailbox
I love payin’ rent when the rent’s due
I hope you got the diamond necklace that I sent to you
‘Cause when I was low you was there for me
And never left me alone, because you cared for me
And I could see you comin’ home after work late
You’re in the kitchen, tryin’ to fix us a hot plate
You just workin’ with the scraps you was given
And Mama made miracles every Thanksgivin’
But now the road got rough, you’re alone
You’re tryin’ to raise two bad kids on your own
And there’s no way I can pay you back
But my plan is to show you that I understand
You are appreciated
Lady, don’t you know we love you? (And dear Mama)
Sweet lady, place no one above you (you are appreciated)
Sweet lady, don’t you know we love you?
Pour out some liquor and I reminisce
‘Cause through the drama I can always depend on my mama
And when it seems that I’m hopeless
You say the words that can get me back in focus
When I was sick as a little kid
To keep me happy there’s no limit to the things you did
And all my childhood memories
Are full of all the sweet things you did for me
And even though I act crazy
I gotta thank the Lord that you made me
There are no words that can express how I feel
You never kept a secret, always stayed real
And I appreciate how you raised me
And all the extra love that you gave me
I wish I could take the pain away
If you can make it through the night, there’s a brighter day
Everything will be alright if you hold on
It’s a struggle every day, gotta roll on
And there’s no way I can pay you back
But my plan is to show you that I understand
You are appreciated
Lady, don’t you know we love you? (Dear Mama)
Sweet lady, place no one above you (you are appreciated)
Sweet lady, don’t you know we love you? (Dear Mama)
Sweet lady
Lady (dear Mama)
Lady, lady.
In conclusion, this is a loud call on all fathers to be mindful of their strategic leadership roles in the life of their children. As a father, you must give your all to your children. Train them. Teach them good lessons. Show them love but correct their childish errors with love and kindness. Be a good father so your children will have the fighting chance to be good children. I WILL SUGGEST THE ABROGATION OF THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF WOMEN AFFAIRS AND IN ITS PLACE, GOVERNMENTS AT NATIONAL AND SUB-NATIONAL LEVELS SHOULD SET UP DEPARTMENTS FOR FAMILY AFFAIRS to be domiciled in the Presidency and the offices of governors. This is because our focus should be broadbased and on the FAMILIES and not just on women because the GENESIS OF FAMILIES ARE THE BABIES. SO THE FOCUS OF THIS PRESIDENTIAL DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AFFAIRS SHOULD BE THE WELFARE AND WELLBEING OF BABIES AND CHILDREN BASICALLY.
***Emmanuel Onwubiko is head of the HUMAN RIGHTS WRITERS ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA and was NATIONAL COMMISSIONER OF THE NATIONAL HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION OF NIGERIA.*
13th September, 2024.
C.E.
Tags: TUPAC
