Opinion
By Steve Osuji
A peculiar English style of football of the 80s was described as kick ‘n’ follow football. England, though famed as the home ground of soccer, her homebred footballers were shorn of talent and exciting game skills. All they knew to do was to simply kick the ball ahead and pursue the round leather object with much speed and grit. In that era of South American samba football and Brazil’s jogo bonito, English football was a pain to watch for lovers of the game. Happy to note that all that has changed in England today with the rapid infusion of African, and indeed talents from all over the world. With that little stroke of thinking, the old British empire may have lost its political kingdom but she still holds the football world in thrall – game, tactics and the huge economics of it.
One wishes this happy ending story would apply to Nigeria today and her presidency. The dodgy, new government under President Bola Tinubu can be described as a kick ‘n’ follow presidency for its emerging style of first enunciating ideas (or policies if you like) before it begins to think about plans and implementation. It’s worrisome that for a man touted to have craved and prepared for this top job for decades and who has been declared winner (though dubiously) since February, no concrete plan has kicked in till now. All we have had are impulsive pronouncements and off the cuff directives.
STILL UNABLE TO FORM CABINET: For instance, you would think a president forming his cabinet would be among the easiest first tasks – it’s his cabinet after all so it shouldn’t take him much time. But alas, six months have passed since he was announced winner. The president has retreated to Paris, London and God knows where else since then but not even an authentic list of ministers is out there. Fake lists overwhelm the media and Internet.
PALLIATIVE, WHAT PALLIATIVE?: Another example of kicking the ball before sparing a thought is the so-called subsidy removal. Today, the presidency has gone to the National Assembly seeking approval for a N500 billion supplementary budget for the purpose of providing some ameliorative measures to the harsh effects of the arbitrary jack up of fuel price on the day of inauguration. We hear the plan is to provide a token N8,000 each to poor Nigerians being crushed under the weight of inflation arising from the podium pronouncement.
And we ask, why hasn’t this scheme worked out and made ready to commence immediately the pump price hike is announced? Again, N8000 can barely buy you 15 litres of petrol, barely enough for one week.
It’s like feeding an indigent fellow once a month and telling the world that he’s being catered for. This is also a re-enactment of the fraudulent Buhari era’s social safety policy where pallia-thieves tended to themselves. What’s new? Is this what Renewed Hope is about?
This column expected the president to lean hard on the abominable NNPC to deliver on the refineries repairs which completion is late by about seven months already! We imagined that if two of our refineries are back to work and we cut out freight costs and charges on imported fuels, pump prices are likely to drop minimally. Reduced pump price (say to about N350 per litre) will serve everyone better than disbursing N8000 per month to faceless Nigerians. This column expected the president to have disbanded the gang at NNPC, we expected the president to have visited the refineries under repairs to get a first hand information and extract a completion date.
We also expected the presidency to react and read the riot act on oil theft immediately the MV Tura II oil theft scandal broke out last week. It’s only in a jungle that a vessel laden with 150,000 MT of crude would be set ablaze under the watch of government officials and security agents! It suggests the absence of government in Nigeria; the vacuity of the presidency!
FOOD SECURITY EMERGENCY BLAH, BLAH: Yet another example of talking without prior plan was the presidency declaring a “State of emergency” on things pertaining to food and water in the face of soaring prices of staple commodities.
Now what is this again you might ask? Well, according to the president’s brain box, Mr Dele Alake, Nigeria’s food and water would henceforth be on the agenda of the national security council. Explaining further, Alake said there will be attempts to bring down inflation which has hit an all time high at 24%. National commodities exchange board would return, he added.
Yet another example of kick and pursue tendency. This is only the 7th week and nothing is clear anymore. Perhaps we are going to have a new Ministry of National Security and Food and Water Securities Affairs, to be headed by the great whizkid Nuhu Ribadu? Those old enough to remember what happened to the old commodities board would be cringing already. I am old enough and I wish to console them not to worry since there’s no commodity today for any board to lord over and steal from poor farmers. This government is doing everything but produce. It probably doesn’t know the next planting season and it talks about commodities and boards.
INSECURITY BLOSSOMS AS USUAL: How can a federal government (read presidency please, because there’s no government yet) speak of food security when non-state actors are in charge of half of the Nigerian space! From Maiduguri to Plateau, Benue, Adamawa, Sokoto, Katsina, Imo, Anambra, Delta, etc. About three hundred fellow citizens were wasted in Plateau State last week; entire Agwa community in Oguta, Imo State has been pulvarised, on and on… if you thought the president visited Plateau State last week on account of the wanton killings, no way, he faced no such distraction. He dealt with the matter the Muhammadu Buhari way. He sent a banal love letter to the sorrowing citizens.
TINUBU MEETS CLASSMATES: Instead of paying a visit to troubled areas of the country, President Tinubu invited his classmates to Aso Rock. How about that for those who still say he has no classmates. Class mates na class mates! The governors who reign in Nigeria from 1999 to 2007; the same time President Tinubu governed Lagos State were hurriedly dressed up last week and shepherded to Aso Rock before their classmate-turned president, Tinubu. You would think there was a special national cause to be tackled to have triggered this assemblage. None. To quote the president who is mastering the art of rambling ‘speeching’, “We wrestled with the pig (to grab the presidency) we are now cleaning up…one of you, the SGF is here already. He’s your class rep… I am very, very proud to be your class mate.”
Lucky Igbinedion led troop. Others you would remember are Orji Uzor Kalu, James Ibori, Saminu Turaki, Niyi Adebayo, Obong Victor Attah, Bisi Akande, Adamu Muazu, Ahmed Yerima Chimaraoke Nnamani, Attahiru Bafarawa, Joshua Dariye, Segun Osoba, Donald Duke, Adamu Aliero, Sam Egwu, among others.
Apart from a handful like Donald Duke and Bisi Akande who acquitted themselves with some credit, this class is remarkable for its infamy and we remember them for laying this wonky leadership foundation we have today. As you know, hardly any of them is without a corruption stink to his name. Those who are not ex-convict already are still in court and we wager they are here at a moment’s notice to earn some reprieve from their grandmaster classmate. Like the mythical anaconda that could re-form even if you cut it into parts, the old order regroups!
Former Governor Lucky Igbinedion who ravaged Edo State for eight years was obviously feeling resurrected. He was effusive when he responded on behalf of others: he’s one of our own and we shall support him. “We are the solid foundation on which this 4th Republic is thriving.” As if to give instant wings to words, he ‘warned’ Nigerians: “Subsidy is gone, people should just find their level.” That’s classic cold, old order thinking ain’t it?
OMO N’OBA GOES TO ASO ROCK: Going by the way of the old order, the floodgate of visitations has been broken. Shady businesses, political jobbers and idle traditional rulers are preparing. This will fill the presidential activities in the coming weeks. The president needs much balm of support and a surfeit of it shall come from east, west, north and south. We shall waste the next few weeks on silly visitations.
The competition among monarchs is bound to become frenzied with the visit last week of the Omo N’Oba, Ewuare II, the Oba of Benin. It is worth noting, however, that the throne of the great Benin kingdom hardly goes visiting. Rather, it is courted and visited. This is the impression the immediate past Benin monarch, Oba Erediauwa left us. May God rest his noble soul.
THE MYTHICAL ANACONDA: Lastly, former governor of Lagos, Akinwunmi Ambode who despite putting up a sterling performance during first term was scalped by the current president was also in Aso Rock to see his nemesis. Like we say in Yoruba: ija ti pari … the strife is over (you may add: bring the booty though it’s not part of the saying o!) Why does the story mythical anaconda keep coming to my head. Nice weekend folks.
#voiceofreason
A.
Tags: Steve Osuji
