Our Kind of Music
Guest Writer
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| By J. K. Randle |
TAKE my word for it, being a chartered accountant can be great fun. Trust the “Senior Elder Citizens” (ex-KPMG Partners who are still awaiting their gratuity and pension after serving meritoriously for thirty-four years – 1970 to 2004) to make the best of the World Congress of Accountants 2014 which was held at Parco Della Musica, Rome last week, from November 10 to November 13, 2014. The journey to Rome actually began four years ago at the conclusion of the 2010 Congress which was held in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, from November 8 to November, 11, 2010. The Senior Elder Citizens supplicated the Almighty and prayed that they would be alive to participate in the next Congress – hopefully not the last!!
The Almighty demonstrated his limitless mercies and bountiful beneficence by granting those prayers without insisting on penitence or recrimination. All that were required were humility, uprightness, perseverance and steadfastness. Hence, once the plane took off for Rome, the “Senior Elder Citizens” burst into song (but no dancing):
“It’s Sweet To Be Loved By God”
It was singing all the way to Rome!! Of course, it was with appropriate decorum and deference to safety regulations. Otherwise, we would have been ejected in mid-air and forced to wave “bye-bye” not only to our loved ones but also our unpaid gratuity and pension. On arrival at Rome’s Fiumicino – Leonardo da Vinci Airport, we were given the full VIP treatment. Limousines with tinted windows awaited us as we disembarked from the plane and it was left to the protocol officers to deal with mundane matters such as our passports, luggage, customs etc. Police escort was provided in order to shield us from Rome’s notorious traffic jam that would provide stiff competition to Lagos logjam. In a matter of minutes we were checked into the magnificent Hotel Splendide Royal on Via Porta Piacina. What awaited us was an excellent cocktail with exquisite canapés. The bar oozed sonorous classical music – Moonlight Sonata (by Beethoven); Jesu Joy Of Man’s Desiring (by Bach); Marriage of Figaro; Aleluia Chorus etc.
Ironically, by the time we got into our rooms which were truly “splendid”, the music that was waffling through the walls was from “Fiddler On The Roof” !! Ironically, we were on the top floor of the hotel which provided a picturesque view of Rome in all its splendour. Even now, the haunting tune: “If I Was A Rich Man” by Topol still rings in our ears.
Anyway, after taking a nap, we were on our way to lunch which was on the hotel’s 8th floor. The Mirabelle Restaurant is truly a testimony to the finest Italian cuisine to be savoured with gusto alongside lashings of irresistible exotic deserts together with the finest of wines and champagne. No expense spared!! We are going to send the bill to KPMG and it’s up to our successors to deduct it from our gratuity and pension as “wholly, necessarily and exclusively incurred for the purpose of the business”.
It turned out that some of our colleagues came by private jet. They gleefully announced that the bill would be sent to KPMG!! Before matters progressed (or deteriorated) much further, Giampiero Pesenti, senior partner/chairman of KPMG, Italy, turned up to make it absolutely clear that we were on our own.
Fortunately, we all came armed with our Platinum American Express card. The only exception was the Cardinal amongst us who had quietly checked into a monastery.
It is very much to the credit of the International Federation of Accountants, IFAC, the organisers of the World Congress of Accountants 2014, that special arrangements were made for those who have served the accountancy profession for more than fifty years. A section of the vast hall of Santa Cecilia, Sinapoli, Petrassi had been reserved for us. Hence, straight from our hotel we were provided with armed police escort and outriders to ferry us directly to our seats. I must add that wheel chairs were in abundance. Very thoughtful of the organisers.
It turned out that Nigeria had the largest delegation of 1,105 out of the 5,000 delegates. Anyway, the opening ceremony commenced promptly at 16.30 and went on till 20.00 on Monday 10, November 2014. The welcome address by Warren Allen, outgoing president of IFAC, was superb. It was exceptionally kind of him to specially recognise the “Seventy Senior Elders”. None of us dozed off till matters were concluded.
The climax of the evening was the cultural performance by a musical maestro who took up piano at the age of six and proceeded to become an international star. His repertoire ranged from Wolfgang Mozart’s piano concerto (number 21) and summer classics – Rondeau, Einkhene Nachkmusik and Heyden’s The Student Prince as well as Rondo Allegro plus an extra dose of Beethoven’s symphonies. It was truly a musical feast.
Most unexpectedly, the “Seventy Senior Elders” joined the musical prodigy on stage to sing “O Sole Mio” (“Oh My Soul”) by Elvis Presley.
What brought the house (and also the curtain) down was when we sang lustily:
“Mio se ni jo” (Why will I not dance?).
Business commenced in earnest the following day with sessions on such exotic subjects as:
- Business Thriving In Disruptive Times
- The New Audit Report
- The Evolution of Private Companies Financial Reporting
- Building A Global Valuation Expertise
- Fighting Corruption And Fraud: The Role For Professional Accountants (The Nigerian Experience)
- International Education Standards and Auditor Competence
- Convergence to IFRS And Global Consistency
- Assurance Services SME Reporting
- Social Responsibility And Banking
- Trade In Services And Accountancy:
The Profession Helping To Unlock The Full Potential
- The Opportunities And Challenges In Adopting The New International Education Standards
- Accountants For Growth:
Internationalization Through SMPs
- The Next Generation CFO – Staying Ahead Of The Curve
- Perspectives From Member Body CEOs
- New Horizons For Accountancy: Fresh Perspectives
- Financial Reporting By Not – For – Profits
Our reward for being alert throughout the deliberations on our profession’s “hot topics and burning issues” was an unexpected invitation by John B. Veihmeyer, chairman of KPMG International, to join him at a dinner at one of Rome’s best restaurants – Piereluigi at Piazza de Ricci, 144, Roma, Italy. He was a very generous and excellent host. It would have been graceless to raise the issue of our unpaid gratuity and pension. Proper decorum prevailed. In any case, we preceded him in the profession by almost twenty years – having become associates of the Institute of Chartered Accountants in England and Wales, ICAEW, in 1969. Thankfully, the succulent dinner followed by a sumptuous breakfast in our hotel sufficiently invigorated us for the business of Day 3 which was devoted to:
- Enhancing Government Transparency And Accountability: A Way To Economic Growth
- The Building Blocks Of Audit Quality
- SMPs 2020
- Public Sector Accounting And The Move To Accrual Accounting
- Code Of Ethics: Shaping Behaviour
- Limiting The Risk Of Failure In Financial Institutions
- Translating International Standards And Guidance: Best Practices And Tools To Achieve Quality Translations
- Promoting Fairness And Growth Through Global Cooperation On Taxation
- Integrated Reporting: Top Challenges And Opportunies
- Digital Darwism: Thriving In The Face Of Technology Change
- Strengthening And Transforming The Accountancy Profession
It was a long day. Regardless, as confirmation that they were still on top of their game, the Senior Elder Citizens were particularly vocal on the issue of “Audit Quality”. The discussions became so animated that the debate went into extra time largely on account of matters related to:
- Root Cause Analysis
- Tone At The
It was the Cardinal amongst the Senior Elder Citizens who sued for peace and insisted that everyone should return to their hotels for an early night with their spouses – instead of becoming unduly agitated over audit quality and agonizing over what is happening to the accountancy profession. After all, it is on record that the eight largest U.S. banks which crashed during the financial crisis of 2008 were all given clean audit reports by the “Big Four” only for them to crash within a matter of months thereafter.
Thankfully, Day 4 was devoted to:
- Challenges In Implementing The New European Accounting Directives of 2013
- Facilitating Credit In The SME Market Place
- Contributing To And Supporting The Development Of Professional Accountancy Organisations
- Fiscal Sustainability And Service Reporting By Public Sector Entities
- The Expectations Of The Audit Committee
- Integrated Thinking : The Key To Improved Performance And Value Creation.
At the end of the day, the Cardinal amongst us forbade the Senior Elder Citizens from joining the bus that had been hired to show chartered accountants the “Red Light District” of Rome that has been in existence since Roman times. Emperor Nero would readily attest to that.
As compensation, we were shunted off (accompanied by our spouses) on Bus No. 10 at 6 p.m. to Cinecitta World – a new leisure and entertainment centre about an hour’s drive from Rome. It had been in business for only six months but was well worth the trouble. Tragically, the carefully laid plans for open air entertainment were ruined when the rains came down with a vengeance.
As confirmation that : “There is still a lot of spunk in the old sporran” (to borrow a Scottish expression), the Senior Elder Citizens quickly rallied the troops and proceeded to sing the following evergreen favourite tunes:
- Stand By Me
- Don’t Play That Song Again
- The House Of The Rising Sun
- Hit The Road Jack.
What got everyone on their feet was “I (we) Did It My (our) Way”
by Frank Sinitra who was an Italian American with alleged connection with the mafia. The buses were meant to depart by 11p.m. but the merry making went on till the early hours of the morning. Remarkably, the Elder Senior Citizens did not display any signs of fatigue !!
On the final day, we were roused by the clearly excited Cardinal. He had a message from Pope Francis I. The Holy Father would grant us audience at 12 noon but we had to be at the Vatican by 11 O’clock. It turned out to be a momentous event. The pontiff was in splendid form – the epitome of grace, humility, optimism and compassion. He went out of his way to specially recognise the Senior Elder Citizens and proceeded to offer his apologies that he would not be able to visit Nigeria. Instead, he would visit Philadelphia and New York in 2015.
The Holy Father made no mention of Ebola or Boko Haram. His cryptic message to all chartered accountants was poignant:
- “Be nice to the poor”
Then Pope Francis displayed his uncommon touch. The Holy Father joined us in singing “Ijoba Orun ni ere onigbagbo” (“The Kingdom of Heaven is the reward of the faithful”) It did not go unnoticed that the pontiff kissed the same baby twice as he went down the aisle. The first time was on his way to the podium and again on his way back. That baby is forever blessed. So also are the Senior Elder Citizens. Amen. The next congress will be in Sydney, Australia in 2018. We have already booked out tickets because the God we worship truly loves and cherishes us. Really, it is sweet to be loved by God and great fun to be a chartered accountant.
— Dec. 1, 2014 @ 01:00 GMT
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