society
There is no doubt that the worsening security situation in the country, high unemployment and the weak and traumatized economy have dealt a devastating blow on the institution of marriage, hence the increasing cases of divorce. The families, governments and religious organisations have a duty to tackle this ugly societal challenge before it destroys the family system, which is critical in building a peaceful and enduring nation.
By Anthony Isibor.
AS more and more couples head to the law court across the country for the dissolution of their marriages, the lack of trust, degradation of culture, moral and family values, and the chaotic economic situation of the country, made even worse by insecurity, unemployment, and the double-digit inflation seem to be top on the list of reasons fueling the high rate of divorce in the country.
Africans and indeed Nigerians in particular, have always respected the sanctity of marriage. Infect, many Nigerian cultures abhor the thought of separation and even consider it a taboo.
Those who even ventured into it only did so as the last resort and kept it a secret as it was considered shameful. Women are especially worst hit as divorced women are negatively stereotyped in the society.
However, this trend seems to be changing drastically as more and more troubled couples, especially women are openly embracing the protection and acceptance that the law has made available through divorce. They see it as the only available option instead of having to go through “the horror of a loveless marriage of abuse and deprivation” as many divorced couples have described it.
The recent action of a Nigerian woman, Ego Oyibo, who publicly celebrated the end of her marriage goes further to prove this point.
Oyibo had taken to her Twitter handle on Friday, March 19, 2021, to announce the completion of her divorce proceedings.
She thanked the Lagos State High Court, adding that she was ready to party.
She wrote: “Signed the dotted lines today…Happily Divorced!!!” “Lagos state high court. I thank you o!!” she added.
In February 2020, an Abuja-based lawyer identified as Annebrafa raised an alarm that there were already 4,000 divorce applications in Abuja alone. According to local news report, the lawyer who tweeted via her Twitter handle @Sandraorokodo, lamented that it is really much considering that the year was barely two months old.
Even though her claim had been countered by some Nigerians who expressed doubts about it, her outburst, however, should not be discarded as it is a pointer to the obvious realities of the many troubles bedeviling Nigerian marriages.
In 2016, official statistics suggested that the dissolution of marriage in Nigeria was uncommon. According to the National Bureau of Statistics, just 0.2% of men and 0.3% of women had legally dissolved their marriage. However, there is no doubt that the above statistical data is inapplicable in present times.
According to the report in 2018, separation rates in Nigeria recorded a 14 percent increase.
The present statistics mirror a rather negative trend.
In a report titled, “Deciphering the high rate of divorce in Nigeria,” which was written by Umar Yakubu in 2019, Kano state alone had over one million registered divorcees.
Yakubu’s report only goes further to prove the astronomical rise in the dissolution of marriages in Nigeria.
According to Blueprint Weekend, a visit to the FCT Sexual and Gender-Based Violence Response Team, an office within the FCDA secretariat that handles divorce cases and other gender abuses, revealed that about 20 to 30 cases of divorce are reported at one of the offices on a daily basis.
The source listed lies, poverty, and communication gap as major factors responsible for this act.
“Some couples built their love on lies. Also, communication among couples is very key, but this is lacking in some marriages. From our findings, the communication gap is another problem threatening some marriages. Also, poverty is another monster that is destroying marriages.
An Abuja resident, Mallam Abubakar Issa, told Blueprint Weekend that “The lack of patience is one of the factors responsible for the rising cases of divorce and called on the couples to wear the toga of patience in order for their marriages to last.
“There are two to three factors involved. One, there is impatience and worldly things are involved. The women or men lied at the commencement of their marriages. Maybe you told the woman you want to marry, I am a son of a very wealthy Nigerian, but by the time she came to your house, there was nothing to confirm what you told her. She will find a way to go out.
“Secondly, by the time you married a woman you have the whole world, but when she came home, she did not see anything. She will look for divorce.
“But patience is the principal actor. Like in those days, we used to see our parents together and you will not know whether they were quarreling or not. Our mother was so contented with what our father brought for them that they would manage it,” he said.
On his part, Mohammed Nasir blamed parents for the rising trend of divorce, saying some of the parents did not teach their children what Allah and the Prophet said about marriage.
According to him, some parents encourage their children not to tolerate their spouses’ deficiencies.
“I am not a pessimist, but without sounding like an alarmist, the cases of divorce will be rising in Nigeria until parents teach their children what Allah and His Prophet said about marriage. Marriage is so dear to God and He commanded all Muslims to get married.
“God said if you have the means, you can marry more than one wife. But our parents are not teaching their female children this. They are the ones telling them not to tolerate their spouses’ excesses and deficiencies. Parents should tell their children how to keep their marriages and endure anything that comes from it. Life is in two phases, the good and the bad.”
In an article titled “The rate of divorce in Nigeria: Latest statistics, published in the Vanguard, the media representatives of the Catholic community, whose opinion is very influential and strong among the inhabitants of Nigeria today, cited incompatibility and intolerance of couples as the main reasons for the rapid increase in registered divorces and initiated processes.
In his commentary, printed in the Nigerian Catholic Reporter, Ukoma Andrew, the priest of Holy Trinity Catholic Church, located in Lagos, attributes the high rate of divorce in the country to Western influence on families, greed, and negative impacts of Nigeria’s dwindling economy.
He regretted that the basic foundation of marriage has almost been destroyed, and consequently, many couples no longer have respect for the institution of marriage.
“Marriage is no longer seen as a sacrament whereby a man and a woman are married for life.
The injunction that they will remain married till death does them part no longer means much to a Westerner. Unfortunately, they are trying to impose that on Africans, and particularly Nigerians.
Today, people marry for the wrong reasons either because the bride or groom is from a rich home or is rich.” Of course, such an opinion has a right to exist; however, there are other points of view and theories with a broad index of rationality and objectivity,” he said.
As more and more families resort to the law court for the legal annulment of their marriages, we must also do well to consider the many negative effects it leaves on the children and even on the couples involved.
A research carried out by CNN revealed that “Divorce causes more than bitterness and broken hearts, the trauma of a split can leave long-lasting effects on mental and physical health that remarriage might not repair”.
Although the children from broken marriage can live their lives happily and un-faced by the decisions of their parents, the fraction of those who suffer the psychological effects of such separations remain on the high side.
Children are always at the receiving end of the negative impact of broken homes. From the point of decision-making to the finalization of the divorce, the issue of child custody is always at the forefront of the litigation. Sometimes they have to watch as their parents make the decision of their custody and this usually leaves a devastating effect on them.
– May 22, 2021 @ 17:15 GMT
A.I
Tags: Annebrafa divorce Ego Oyibo
