Essay
- By Bashorun J.K. Randle
THERE appears to be a conspiracy between the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) and the Research Department of the Central Bank of Nigeria [CBN]. They keep churning out statistics, data and projections which are deeply troubling.
Let us first debunk the conspiracy theory which, according to Dean Haglund, deserves a decent burial:
“The beauty of any conspiracy theory is that because it can’t be proved, that just makes it more “real”. It’s not a question of believing or not believing, really; it’s more a question of just accepting a series of probabilities that lead to an undeniable conclusion.”
The Nigerian government has published a long list of conspirators. Twitter (Treason !!)
- BBC and CNN (over End#SARS) and Lekki Toll Gate and more recently
- Wall Street Journal
- and The Economist.
The unbiased and the more discerning prefer courage to conspiracy or cowardice. Adam Schiff the author of “Midnight In Washington” summed it all up:
“Courage is contagious, so also is
cowardice (and conspiracy).”
While we are united in grief over what has become of our nation, we can take solace in
- Abstractions
- Sequencing
- Logic
- and, Argument
Nevertheless, it was the Wall Street Journal [WSJ] which really stirred the hornet’s nest with the publication of a report on its front page, on 17th October, 2021 which alleged that the Nigerian Air Force had paid bandits the equivalent of U.S.$50,000 in exchange for weapons (anti-aircraft gun) that had been seized from the Nigerian military. Apparently, the bandits had conspired and hatched a plan to gun down the aircraft of the President of Nigeria who was scheduled to travel to his country home/farm (in Katsina State) to celebrate Eid el Maulud. The specifications were provided in graphic details to wit a 12.7 calibre anti-aircraft gun. The money was hand delivered not by DHL or UPS but by “unknown soldiers” while “the leader of the terrorists sipped tea and his boys dismantled the seized weapons for onward return.”
What followed in rapid succession was “The Economist” magazine special edition which was massively advertised before publication on October 23, 2021 with the attention grabbing title:
“NIGERIA: THE CRIME SCENE CAPITAL OF AFRICA.”
The magazine which has been around for almost one hundred and twenty years took Nigeria to the cleaners. It did not pull any punches.
Apart from slagging off the Nigerian army as “mighty on paper” but weak on the ground with an army !! of ghost workers, it accused the Nigerian military of selling arms and ammunition to the same terrorists it is supposed to be fighting. Conspiracy and treachery !!. The Nigerian Police was given an extra dose of the same medicine:
“…..poorly trained, understaffed, under-paid and involved in the robbery of innocent Nigerians to augment salaries.”
Perhaps Nigerians need to be reminded of a Swahili proverb:
“Brothers love each other when they are equally rich.”
Instead of creating wealth, all we are sharing are grim statistics
Here is a report from the front page of “ThisDay” newspaper of May 30, 2021:
“The travails of our present times are daunting. Very daunting indeed. The truth is that our country is at war. We have been fighting enemies, seen and unseen. We began with the seen. They could be fought with tanks and bullets. Then the unseen crept up on us. It crept in cladded in the camouflage of some deadly mutating virus (poverty, ignorance and impunity).
- Babajide Sanwo-Olu
Governor of Lagos State.
On the same day, the front page of “Sunday Punch” newspaper carried the following report:
“MY WIVES RAN AWAY AFTER ONE GOVERNOR INFECTED ME WITH COVID-19 – El-Rufai”
“Governor Nasir El-Rufai of Kaduna State on Saturday recalled how he contracted the dreaded COVID-19 from a fellow governor in 2020.
El-Rufai, while speaking at the seventh Ahmadu Bello Foundation lecture in Kaduna on Saturday, also said no fewer than 50,000 people would have been killed by the virus last year if a lockdown had not been imposed.
The governor had, on March 26, 2020, imposed a lockdown on Kaduna, following the outbreak of the disease and partially lifted it on June 9, 2020, after 75 days.
According to him, he spent 26 days in isolation, adding that even his wives ran away from him.
The lecture tagged ‘COVID-19: Way forward for Northern Nigeria economy,’ was organised by the Sir Ahmadu Bello Memorial Foundation.
El-Rufai said, “A governor infected me with COVID-19 virus and I brought it to Kaduna. I was locked up for 26 days. My wives ran away from me. Fifty thousand people in Kaduna would have died of COVID-19 last year, but for the fact that Kaduna State was the first to lock down.
“I am happy to say because of COVID-19, we have been able to put in place infectious disease wards in our hospitals. People travel around the world so there may be ‘COVID-25’ or 30. With what is happening in India, the situation is scary. But God has been very kind to us.”
Emphasising the need for the North to improve on the quality of its leaders, the governor argued that 60 years after the demise of the late Sarduana of Sokoto and premier of the defunct Northern region, Sir Ahmadu Bello, the region had yet to have a leader like him (Sarduana).
According to the governor, the late premier of the North remained the best leader the region had ever produced.
He noted that the North must produce leaders that cared for the people, adding that there was the need to provide jobs for the North before the 500 million estimated population of Nigeria by the year 2050.”
The same newspaper carried another report about Kaduna on its front page:
“WE SOLD PROPERTIES TO RAISE N180 MILLION RANSOM, BOUGHT MOTORBIKES FOR OUR CHILDREN’S KIDNAPPERS” – Parents of newly freed Kaduna Students.
Also competing for space was another headline:
“ILLEGAL OIL DEALS: FEDERAL GOVERNMENT TO EXPOSE OFFICIALS BEHIND U.S.$69 BILLION LOOT IN AMERICAN BANKS.”
- Anti-graft agencies to trace bank details of suspected government officials.
The front page of “The Guardian” newspaper of May 30, 2021 was devoted to a big bold headline: “CONCERNS OVER ALLEGED
RE-LOOTING OF OVER U.S.$1.5
BILLION ABACHA BOOTY.”
What awaited readers of “Daily Trust” newspapers on May 30, 2021 was the following piece of shock therapy.
Headline: “MASTER’S DEGREE HOLDER-TURNED SCAVENGER GETS SUPPORT.
“Following a Daily Trust interview with Yazid Surajo, a young Nigerian who opted to go into scavenging despite having a master’s degree, an Instagram group with more than 200 followers is set to support him to improve his business.
The leader of the Instagram group known as ‘Hausa Room’ told Daily Trust that the group was raising funds to assist the young man to stand on his feet and at the same time create more opportunities for other young Nigerians.
The platform, Hausa Room on Instagram, it was gathered, was purposely opened to discuss contemporary issues and problems facing people most especially, females in Northern Nigeria.
“We want more people to participate in donating so that we will raise at least one million because we only have four hundred thousand at hand”, the platform leader said.
Daily Trust had earlier published the story of Yazid Surajo a young Nigerian with a master’s degree who chose to do menial jobs rather than stay idle, waiting for a white-collar job.”
On November 15, 2021, “The Punch” newspaper delivered yet another scoop on its front page.
Headline: “EDO JUNIOR WIFE STABS HUSBAND TO DEATH, AIDS LOVER’S ESCAPE BURING SIX ROMP”
“A man simply identified as Abdulateef has been allegedly stabbed to death by his wife after the deceased caught her with a man on their matrimonial bed.
The incident was said to have occurred at 3am on Sunday in Jattu, Etsako West Local Government of Edo State.
The PUNCH gathered that the woman stabbed the deceased to death when he came home at about 3am and met a man with her in their bedroom.
A source said, “The deceased had two wives who used to live with him but he had to rent an apartment for his first wife in a different location to allow peace to reign while staying with the junior one in his house.
“The deceased used to visit the first wife and spend the night there. But the junior wife was said to have been bringing another man to her matrimonial home anytime the husband spends the night in the first wife’s apartment.”
The source said the deceased came home on the fateful night from his first wife’s apartment only to meet a man with his junior wife in their bedroom.
According to the source, the deceased allegedly got hold of the visitor and that in the process, the woman stabbed him twice on his stomach apparently to pave the way for the lover’s escape and make it look like a robbery attack.
The source said the deceased died as a result of the injury before help could arrive, adding that the quick arrival of the police saved the suspect from being killed by a mob while the suspect has been arrested by the police.
Efforts to get a response from the state Police Public Relations Officer, Kontongs Bello, proved abortive as calls to his line were not taken and his messages were not replied.”
The editor of the newspaper could not resist publishing another riveting report.
Front page headline: “NDLEA LAUNCHES FRESH RAIDS, SEIZES N4.9 BILLION COCAINE IN LAGOS PORTS, OTHERS.”
“Operatives of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency have seized fresh consignments of cocaine and heroin with a combined weight of 16.85 kilogrammes worth over N4.9bn at the Apapa seaport and the Murtala Muhammed International Airport, both in Lagos State.
The agency said four persons were being investigated for the 13.65kg cocaine seized on board a ship, MV Karteria, that came into the Apapa port from Santos, Brazil, on Sunday, November 7, barely three weeks after 32.9kg of cocaine was intercepted at the port on another vessel, MV Chayanee Naree, also from Santos, Brazil.
A statement on Sunday by the spokesperson for the NDLEA, Femi Babafemi, also said in well-coordinated follow-up operations, no fewer than five persons were arrested in different parts of Lagos and Delta states in connection with the seizure of 3.200kg heroin found on a passenger, Christian Osondu, at the E- Arrival Hall of the MMIA, on Friday, November 5, during the inward clearance of Air Peace flight passengers from South Africa.
According to him, a swift follow-up operation same day led to the arrest of one Onyeka Ude in the Mafoluku area of Oshodi, Lagos.
Ude, the NDLEA said, reportedly confessed that his elder brother, Ikenna Ude, who was based in South Africa, instructed him to collect the bag containing the drug and hand it over to another person, who was supposed to come from Delta State.
“A second follow-up operation led to the arrest of Abanjo Innocent, who came to Lagos from Delta State to pick the bag containing the drug around Cele Bus Stop, Okota, on Saturday, November 6. He also confessed that he was contracted by one Chinedu Oseki, who is based in South Africa to travel to Lagos to collect the bag and bring it to Agbor Junction, Delta State.
“The third follow-up operation led to the arrest of Ihator Theophilus Isioma at Agbor Junction, Delta State, on Sunday, November 7,” the statement added.
The NDLEA said in Bayelsa State, its operatives on Saturday, 13 November, arrested one Emeka Obeluo from the Anambra West LGA of Anambra State, with 600 grams of heroin.
The suspect, a spare parts dealer based in Douala, Cameroon, had arrived in Yenagoa by waterway to waybill the substance to an undisclosed address in Lagos.
Babafemi also said, “Not less than four suspects were arrested and different quantities of cocaine, cannabis, tramadol and methamphetamine seized from them during weekend raids on Rumuokoro, Elelenwo and Omagwa/Elele communities in Rivers State.
“Those arrested include; Elizabeth Iniama, Sir King Emmanuel, Godgift King, and Amadi Bright.
“A total of 18.51kg of assorted illicit drugs were recovered on Saturday, November 13, when operatives raided a neighbourhood of Bayan Gari, and Sir Ahmadu Bello Way, Bauchi town, Bauchi State, where two suspects, Gabriel Iwagbunan and Ms. Cecilia Ezena, were arrested.
“While 23-year-old Hadiza Ibrahim was arrested on Saturday, November 12, along Okene-Lokoja highway with 54kg of cannabis, one Sunday Nnam aka Idowu, was nabbed same day in the Emene area of Enugu with 45kg of same substance.
“In the same vein, one Umar Muhammad was arrested with 25,700 capsules of Tramadol weighing 15.1kg in Tudun Hatsi area of Gombe.”
If it was not for real, it would have been a comical scoop. It was actually delivered on the front page of “ThisDay” newspaper on November 15, 2021 courtesy of Engineer Sulaiman Hussein Adamu, the Minister of Water Resources.
“For example, we handed over the Central Ogbia project in 2016. A year after, we went back but we discovered that it was under lock and key. The Federal Government spent N6 billion on that project and we went back and we asked why it was locked up. We were told that the state government was not able to buy chemicals and diesel to run the scheme. It would cost the state government only about N2 million to N3 million a month. And that’s not the only one. There are many like that. Some of them were abandoned because the state would not even provide adequate security. So some of the equipment were vandalised.
Is it the Federal Government that will go and be manning those water schemes ? That is not our mandate and we don’t have the wherewithal to do that.”
On the same November 15, 2021 “Nigerian Tribune” devoted its front page to a scoop.
Headline: “UNILORIN STUDENT BEATS FEMALE LECTURER TO STUPOR”
“A 400-level student of the Department of Microbiology, Faculty Of Life Sciences, University of Ilorin, Kwara State, has reportedly beaten his project supervisor, a female lecturer, to stupor.
Tribune Online gathered that the student, simply identified as Captain Walz, is a popular student in the school and reportedly carried out the ugly act because the lecturer refused to cover him for not observing the compulsory Students Industrial Work Experience Scheme (SIWES).
A source in the university, who said the student has been arrested by the school security operatives and transferred to a police station, added that the offender proceeded to the office of his project supervisor, Mrs. Zakariyya, with the intention of beating her to death.
An eyewitness account had it that, “He went to the woman’s office to seek her help for his issue because he didn’t do the SIWES.
“He entered the woman’s office and started banging the table. The woman abused him and he moved closer to the woman and started slapping the woman.
“The woman tried to escape but he kept pursuing the woman, the lecturer ran into an office but Captain Walz broke the window and started punching her hardly.
“The woman was calling for help but people weren’t around immediately, until later.
“While trying to escape, he pursued the woman till she fell down and had head cut. He then tried to strangle her till she was in a coma”.
Speaking on the development, the Director of Information in the university, Alhaji Kunle Akogun, confirmed that Mrs. Zakariyyah, teaching staff in the Department of Microbiology, Faculty of Life Sciences, is now relatively stable and recuperating after the ugly incident of Thursday where she was attacked by a 400Level male student.
“A visit by the Vice-Chancellor, Professor Sulyman Age Abdulkareem, in the company of the Dean, Faculty of Life Sciences, Professor Oladiji; the Director, University Health Services, Dr. Odunola and a few other staff to the victim and her family this morning, Saturday, September 13, 2021, confirmed that.
“The VC, who described the incident as sad and unfortunate, assured that justice shall be done on the matter.
“He has, however, ordered proper care of the victim on the bill of the university.
“He reiterated his commitment to the welfare of all staff and law-abiding students”.
A second scoop was delivered by “ThisDay” newspaper via Okey Ikechukwu.
Headline: “WHAT THE CBN CANNOT DO”
“The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) cannot do much about the value of the Naira for as long as we produce very little, consume much that is not produced here and retain a monoculture economy that is driven by a leadership elite that focuses on distribution and consumption, rather than production.
The calls for diversification of the economy have been on for over decades now. These calls have been so strident, repetitive and over-dramatised by successive governments. That is why, today, the concept has become all but threadbare, tiring, boring and of little interest to many people.”
Bashorun J.K. Randle is a former President of the Institute of the Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) and former Chairman of KPMG Nigeria and Africa Region. He is currently the Chairman, JK Randle Professional Services.
A.I
Tags: Amadi Bright. Bashorun J.K. Randle Christian Osondu Elizabeth Iniama Femi Babafemi Gabriel Iwagbunan Godgift King Hadiza Ibrahim Ms. Cecilia Ezena NDLEA Sir King Emmanuel
