Featured, Women
Single parenthood in Nigeria, whether due to death, divorce, separation, unplanned pregnancy, or by choice comes with significant challenges. With the number of single-parent households rising, it is critical to address the unique challenges they face, which cut across economic, social, and emotional lines.
By Anthony Isibor
A 2023 Study published in the SAGE Journals revealed that Children from single-parent families exhibit lower academic performance due to reduced parental involvement and financial constraints.
Studies have also revealed that children living with a single parent are twice more likely to experience mental health, peer pressure and anti-social character than children from intact families.
These sentiment seem to be supported by Esther Okonkwo, a business woman and a mother in Ogun State, who told Realnews why a child must be raised by a complete family, comprising both the father and the mother for the child to grow up well and be useful to the society.
According to her, no single parent can adequately raise a child alone.
Okonkwo explained how her elder sister’s dreams to further her education was ruined when she discovered that she was pregnant at just 21. According to her, the sister (Name withheld), who was at the verge of entering into the university at the time was sent out by their parents to go and stay with Segun (first name only), the man responsible for her pregnancy.
She revealed that at the time, Segun had a small shop where he rents out movies. He accepted the pregnancy and promised that they will get married after the baby was born. So they began to stay together.
“However, before the baby was born, Segun began to maltreat my sister. This got worse when their child, Eniola, was born. He was bringing in other women and forcing my sister to clean up the room after he was done with the women.
“It was a traumatic period for her and our parents couldn’t bear it anymore so they took my sister back and rented an apartment for her and the child.
“She had to start hawking cloths at Oshodi for her and her baby to survive. But when it became too hard for her, the family decided that the child, who was already five at the time should live with me and my husband,” Esther said.
She further revealed that it was under their guidance under a family setting that Eniola was raised till she entered the university.
“Today, she is a graduate of Lagos State University and she is currently a Youth Corps member serving in Enugu State. If the whole family didn’t contribute to her upbringing, Eniola would not have turned out this good.
“Although Segun, the father is pleading to see his daughter, but he can’t,” Esther added.
In 2018, a Nigeria Demographic and Health Survey, NDHS, revealed that single-parent households have become more common in both rural and urban areas. The report indicates that 1 in 5 Nigerian households is headed by a single parent, with women constituting over 80 per cent of these households. While urban centres like Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt experience higher rates of single parenthood due to migration and economic pressures, rural areas face challenges related to limited resources and cultural stigmas.
While they are some single parents in Nigeria who can adequately cater for their families, a lot of these parents often struggle to provide for the family, especially due to financial constraints.
The National Bureau of Statistics, NBS, reported in 2022 that 34 per cent of single-parent households live below the poverty line, compared to 25 per cent of two-parent households. Most single parents work in the informal sector, where wages are low and job security is not guaranteed.
A study published in the BMC Public Health Journal in 2021 shows that Nigeria has 1.7 million widows and over one million separated or divorced women aged between 10 and 85. The report also indicates that single mothers constitute approximately 9.5 per cent of Nigeria’s population. This prevalence varies significantly across regions, ranging from 2.9 per cent in the North-West to 20.3 per cent in the South-South.
Although there are a number of reasons why people will end up as single parents ranging from death, divorce, separation, unplanned pregnancies, or by choice, divorce remains top on the list.
A recent video on Reality of Life Podcast uncovered startling insights into the dynamics of marital relationships in Enugu state when it revealed that an overwhelming 76 per cent of married women in a survey carried out wished that their husbands were far way.
The statistic from the survey, which was conducted in Enugu by an NGO has since sparked discussions about the underlying issues in marriages and family structures in the region.
The study, conducted by a local sociological research team, included 1,000 married women aged between 25 and 50 across urban and rural areas of Enugu State. The findings revealed that many women see temporary separation from their husbands as a form of relief or an opportunity for personal peace.
Some experts have blamed this development on some of these sentiments:
1. Financial Dependence and Pressure
Many women cited financial disagreements and the stress of managing household expenses as a significant source of conflict. In households where husbands are unable or unwilling to contribute adequately, women complained of burdened by unbalanced responsibilities.
2. Emotional Disconnection
A number of the respondents mentioned emotional neglect and poor communication in their marriages. “My husband is physically present but emotionally absent. Sometimes, it feels better when he travels for work,” said a 35-year-old respondent in the survey.
3. Domestic Violence and Abuse
Some of the women revealed that their desire for separation stemmed from domestic violence. The National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS) (2018) showed that 31 per cent of Nigerian women have experienced some form of domestic violence, with Enugu State reporting higher-than-average cases.
4. Desire for Personal Freedom
In more subtle cases, women expressed frustration over lack of autonomy in their marriages. Cultural norms that prioritize male dominance often leave women feeling stifled. “When my husband is away, I feel free to make decisions without constant judgment,” one of the woman in the study is quoted as saying.
Expert Opinions
Some sociologists and marriage counselors have since weighed in on the findings.
For example, Dr. Chika Eze, a sociologist at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, stated that the survey “highlights the unmet emotional and social needs within marriages. Many women are not seeking separation because they don’t love their husbands but because the relationship dynamics are unhealthy.”
On his own part, marriage counselor Ifeanyi Obi said- “These sentiments point to a deeper societal issue. Traditional gender roles and expectations often leave women carrying emotional and physical burdens in marriage, leading to feelings of resentment.”
While the survey in Enugu serves as a wake-up call on the state of many marriages in Nigeria and it must, however, be stated that the troubles of single parenthood far outweighs its benefits.
“The financial burden of raising children alone often pushes single parents into poverty. Many lack access to affordable housing, healthcare, and education for their children,” said Comfort Lamptey, the UN Women Country Representative in Nigeria. The gender pay gap, which sees Nigerian women earning 23 per cent less than men (UN Women, 2022), further compounds the issue for single mothers.
There are also issues of stigma which is often rooted in cultural and religious beliefs. In many communities, single mothers are labeled as irresponsible, while single fathers may be seen as neglectful or unable to manage household responsibilities.
Commenting on this issue, Amina Bala, a sociologist at Ahmadu Bello University, said: “The cultural stigma attached to single parenthood isolates individuals from support systems. Many single parents endure emotional and financial struggles in silence due to fear of judgment.”
The financial instability of single-parent households frequently affects their children’s education. A 2020 UNICEF report noted that 50 per cent of children from single-parent households are at risk of dropping out of school, compared to 25 per cent from two-parent households. The inability to pay school fees, purchase uniforms, or provide daily meals limit educational opportunities for these children.
“Education is often sacrificed in single-parent households where survival takes precedence. Children from such households risk being trapped in the same cycle of poverty,” said Peter Hawkins, UNICEF Representative in Nigeria.
Emotional and Mental Health Challenges
The emotional toll on single parents is intense says a 2021 study in the African Journal of Reproductive Health.
The study disclosed that 70% of single parents in Nigeria experience symptoms of stress, anxiety or depression. The absence of adequate mental health support systems leaves many struggling to cope.
“Single parents carry the dual burden of caregiving and earning an income. Without support, they face significant mental health challenges, which can also affect their children’s well-being,” said Grace Ekanem, a psychologist in Lagos.
Limited Government Support
Although government programmes like the National Social Investment Programme, NSIP, aim to support vulnerable populations, single parents are often overlooked. According to NBS, less than 20 per cent of single-parent households received any government assistance during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Single parents are an underserved demographic in Nigeria’s social welfare policies,” said Ayo Obe, a human rights activist. “We need more targeted interventions to ensure they do not remain marginalized.”
Addressing the plight of single parents in Nigeria requires a coordinated effort across multiple sectors. Through deliberate policies and societal change, Nigeria can alleviate the struggles faced by single parents and create an environment where they and their children can thrive.
“Single parents play an extraordinary role in our society, raising children under immense pressure,” said Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Director-General of the World Trade Organization. “By supporting them, we invest in a stronger, more equitable Nigeria.”
1. Economic Empowerment: Vocational training, financial literacy programmes and access to microloans can provide single parents with sustainable income opportunities.
2. Legal Reforms: Strengthening child support enforcement laws will hold absent parents accountable for their responsibilities.
3. Educational Support: Subsidized or free education for children from single-parent households can help break the cycle of poverty.
4. Mental Health Services: Accessible counseling and support groups can address the mental health challenges faced by single parents.
5. Community Engagement: Public campaigns to reduce stigma and foster inclusive attitudes toward single parents are crucial.
A.I
Jan. 28, 2025
Tags: Anthony Isibor Dr. Chika Eze Esther Okonkwo
